Unhealthy Connections, Outside your Primary Relationship.

Connections. Some fade with the years. Yet, some relationships keep weaving in and out of our lives. 

Is your marriage / primary relationship, suffering from an unhealthy connection?

The unhealthy connection we will speak of today, are those connections, often having an “attraction factor”. That includes those of past intimacy. That person may be viewed as an old friend.

Unhealthy connections, often have the following characteristics:

A) One sided support. 

1- Focus is mainly on their own life challenges.

B) Not respectful of your marriage/significant other.     

1- Request intimacy or affection reserved for a spouse/signifiant other (SO) .   

2- Speak of the two of you being together, or of your past shared experiences.

3- Will not accept an invite if your spouse/SO will be present.

4- Pursues telephone contact.

C) Have you engaged in: 

1) Discussing areas of emotional importance to you, which you do not discuss with your spouse.    

2) Have you ever (while married/with your SO) met with this person in private, to share something “out of public view”  in close proximity (seated on sofa).   

~ Their home or yours.       

~ Movie, Music, and/or conversation.         

~ Physical (non sexual) contact. 

3- Conversation which has included areas of sexuality and/or sex acts. 

4- Speaking of your spouse, in negative way, or not correcting the other person when he/she refers to your spouse/SO in such terms.  Terms such as crazy, emotional, or upset apply to this.

How many are relevant to your circumstances?

You may be tempted to tally up how many of those apply to your friendship.

Unfortunately; The above criteria does not fall into a “grade yourself” category.

If you one answered yes to any of the above, you have introduced something harmful to your primary relationship.